Some of us live in neighborhoods where everyone is wonderful – Some of us don’t! Have you ever wondered what it would take to not be at the effect of your neighbors? Have you wondered what was required to make “Them” move?
Some of these neighbors are noisy, some have strange or messy habits, some are down right rude and grumpy/angry. Some of us wonder if living near them will affect our children or our property value. So here are a few questions that can create more ease for you and maybe other neighbors too!
1. What invitation to a different possibility can I be?
So when we resist and react to people’s behavior what gets created? Are they inspired or do the resist and react back? Most people who fit into the category we are talking about will resist and react back. Some call it “Fight” of the Fight or Flight. Is that what you are looking to create? Nope I didn’t think so.
Have you ever walked down a street where there is one house where the tenant cares? You can tell they care as they have not only mown their front but the neighbors too. The gardens are nice, at least maintained and there is no piles of rubbish like the rest of the street. If they continue that does it start to rub off on their neighbors? If they offer seedlings and space on the trailer to the dump what does that create? If it is done from kindness and not judgement it creates an invitation to others and pretty soon the tidy caring attitude spreads down the street gathering speed like a virus. A virus of caring and kindness. Soon there are only one or two houses that stand out and not for being tidy.
Sometimes when we be this invitation, even if it is a kindness or caring word, from no judgement it is only the children next door that see it. Don’t decide you have failed, you have planted a seed. A seed of a different possibility. A possibility that until you planted did not even exist in that child reality.
Who you be, how you act and a space of no judgement can be the gift that unlocks a different possibility. If you unlock that possibility in just one person’s life have you been a success?
So every time something bugs you about the neighbor hold up the STOP sign to judgement and as “What invitation to a different possibility can I be?”
2. Is this even mine?
Sometimes when we have neighbors around us with different behaviors or thought patterns to us we start to behave like them. I had neighbors who loved to drink. Now I like the odd drink but when I started desiring to drink earlier and earlier in the day I started to ask questions.
The first question I always ask (after some practice) is “Who does this belong to? Me or someone else?” WHAT??
Have you ever noticed when you walk into a room and someone in the room is angry, you know it? They don’t have to say anything or even look at you and you know. Or when the phone rings and you know who it is before you answer? That’s because you are aware! Not just of the room you are in but of those around you beyond that room too. It took me a while to work out who was wanting that Bourbon, why? I became aware of their desire when they were driving home! By the amount of time it took for them to arrive I would estimate between 2 and 4km was when my awareness picked up on them!! Wow!
So what are you aware of that isn’t yours? Try asking this question for everything in your life. Whose is the pain in your back / knee / head?
So when you ask the question “Who does this belong to? Me or someone else?” which one is lighter? Yes follow the light! What is light for you is right for you. What is heavy is a lie for you.
Light = expansive or makes you laugh or smile
Heavy = contractive or depressing
So let’s say you are “feeling angry” ask ““Who does this belong to? Me or someone else?” and if it is heavy on “Me” return it to sender. Stop buying it as yours! All you have to do is say “Return to sender”. For more on this tool and others you can download the “5 Questions to Change Anything” PDF
3. What energy do they require?
Are your neighbours ones that argue a lot or depressed stay at home types? Many people behave in these ways as they are not receiving what they have decided they should be receiving. What do I mean by that? If a man has decided he should be receiving more attention from his wife he may start to pick fault with what she is or isn’t doing to get her to pay more attention to her. So what is it he actually requires? He requires attention! If you were to flow energy to him he will receive what he has decided he is missing and may stop yelling or hitting to get what he desires.
For those that are depressed and hiding they tend to be contracting and trying to keep what they have decided is limited. So what can you do to contribute? Knock on their door and try and drag them outside with some lame excuse about getting some Vitamin D?? NOOO! Pull energy through them. Just imagine pulling energy from the universe through the person and out into the universe again. This energies their bodies and gets the energy moving.
So what do I mean by all of this? There is an infinite amount of energy in this universe so why don’t we were to use it to our advantage?
So how do we do this? It is so hard you must train in Tibet for 18 years under a monk who is 250 years old – JOKE! You just ask! Yip that easy! If you are willing to allow the energy to do as you ask, it will.
How do we know which one to do? Again it is as easy as asking a question “What energy flow is required to change this?” or “What energy flow do they require?”
Do I have to know which one I am doing? Nope! You know what, if you have different people you can even do more than one at a time. “What energy flows do these people require?” and allow it to happen.! Some may require pulls, some may require flows and you do not need to know who needs which.
Won’t I drain me or them? Did you notice that I said to flow/pull energy through them from the universe and to them from the universe? By choosing this method you can never be “sucked dry” and nor will they. We are using the infinite energy around us to create the change.
So much more is possible with these energy flows so you be willing to play with them? Try them out and see what happens. If you have no fixed point of view of what will happen then things can change as if by magic.
If you are having problems with your neighbors or others in your life and would like some personal facilitation about then a “Coffee & Change” session could be for you!